this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
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I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
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You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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