I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
They have beer where we have blood.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
