Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
