i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.