Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So much rum. So many feels.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say