i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.