Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
pop tarts are not kleenex
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.