hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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