Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
