38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
