what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
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I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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