You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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