I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I am mentally ready for anal.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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