ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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