Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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