break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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