i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
