I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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