But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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