Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
