i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
