But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
