Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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