Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
