We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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