He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
