But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
