whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
