I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
