I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Randomize
