me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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