That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
