ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
