Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
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I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
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The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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