I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
