It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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