she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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