Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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