Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
