Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
