you're like a bully in the Christmas story
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
