YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
