this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
