ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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