The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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