Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize