Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
