I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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