Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
