I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
