I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Rumble strips road head = magical
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
