I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
