I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
