Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
