Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize