I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Randomize
