I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
