I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
