My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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