I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
