Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
