She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
