Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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