I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
