Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
