hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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