yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
