well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
your like the ambassador to my penis.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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