My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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