Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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