I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
