some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
