Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just invented taco cereal.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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